En Route To The Omega 4 Relay
by TDA792
Summary: This is a one-shot about what I think happened immediately after the romance scene and before the Suicide Mission in ME2. Expect Manshep/Tali romance and appearances from Joker, Garrus, Jacob and Legion. There may be more, but I forgot.  First fanfic
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Uh, hey there, just wanted to quickly say a few things. Here I go; One, this is my first fanfic (WOO!) and, two, is I'm british, so expect some british terminology that you might not get (indeed!), so don't tell me I spelt something wrong, 'cause I didn't, OK? ...Unless I did. Uh, I'm gonna shut up and let you read my work. Hope I got the characters right! **

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><p><strong>En Route to the Omega 4 Relay<strong>

_22__:58 [Standard Earth Time] _

_Friday 13__th__ February 2185_

_Normandy SR-2 _

_Deck 2_

_Combat Information Centre (CIC)_

"Final preparations are complete, Commander." Echoed the _Normandy_ helmsman Jeff 'Joker' Moreau's voice over the star-ship's Public Announcement (PA) system.

"Be warned, Shepard," came the cool, emotionless voice of the ship's advanced AI, dubbed EDI affectionately by the crew. "Once we are en route, there's no turning back." Warned the computer.

"I'm doing it." returned Commander Shepard decisively, as he stood gazing over the star chart.

"Very well; destination selected as the _Omega 4 _Mass Relay." Concluded the AI, and Shepard saw the star-chart's cursor zoom in from it's overview of the Milky Way, through the Omega Nebula, through into the Sahabarik system, and hovered briefly over the Mass Relay known as the _Omega 4_ Relay. Even from the sprite on the star-chart, Shepard could see it's ominous red glow, unusually coloured for a Mass Relay.

Then, the distinct voice of Joker came back over the PA. "It's gonna take a while, Commander. Estimates say about 3 or 4 hours from here."

"Good. I'll be in my cabin." Shepard returned.

"So… I'll see you then." Finished Joker lamely. Shepard turned on his heel and strided down the steps behind him, and headed for the elevator only a short distance away. They were going through the Omega 4 Relay; something which no living creature in the known galaxy could admit to truthfully.

Shepard picked up the luminously orange-screened datapad from his desk. His eyes followed the words, but he wasn't really taking it in. His mind was understandably on other things; he had good reason to, as it was no secret that the Illusive Man thought that his was a "Suicide Mission". He had spoken openly about the possibility of Shepard's team of specialists dying; in fact the entire crew of the Normandy had been abducted by the alien race known only as Collectors only hours before. Shepard didn't fancy his chances.

Shepard thought to himself, "There's bound to be something that goes wron-"

However, his thought process was interrupted by the almost inaudible sound of his cabin door opening. He turned his head towards the open doorway. There, silhouetted by the light of the elevator, was the quarian engineer Tali'Zorah vas Normandy.

When she spoke, it was clear that she was nervous. She took several tentative steps towards the Commander as she said "So… I've taken some antibiotics as well… as some herbal supplements that should bolster my immune system," she began. She took the datapad out of Shepard's hands. "I was going to bring music," she continued, as Shepard smiled encouragingly. "But… I didn't know what you liked; and… I'm babbling like an idiot." She finished. She's so cute when she's nervous, thought Shepard.

"It's OK," smiled Shepard soothingly, as he embraced her.

"I just don't want to… I want this to work. I've thought it over," 'babbled' Tali. "I've minimised the risks but I'm still nervous, and that always makes me talk too much, it's a defence mechanism and it's stupid, but…" Shepard sat down on the foot of his bed, and so did Tali.

"People who… who just see the helmet can't see my expression so I have to make it clear what I'm-" Tali slowed to a stop as she felt Shepard's human hands feeling around the clasps of the visor. There was a hissing sound as air left Tali's helmet.

"What I'm…" she tried again.

'Oh keelah,' thought Tali desperately. 'he's going to see my face…'

Shepard carefully lifted the visor from her helmet; his expression changed only a little as he gazed for the first time upon her mask-less face.

"…feeling." Finished the bare-faced quarian at last.

Whether through fear or exhilaration, or maybe both, Tali pounced on Shepard, pushing him back onto the bed, as her visor lay forgotten on the cabin floor.

Shepard lay relaxed on his bed, eyes staring up through the ceiling-window of his cabin. For the first time, he wasn't alone.

He felt the soft breathing of his new lover against his side as she slept. Shepard had woken up after a few minutes of sleep, and had found himself almost hypnotized by her natural beauty, and he himself somehow felt undeserving of such a girl.

As much as Shepard wanted to just lay there and watch her sleep, he realized that he was hungry. Sighing as he realized he'd have to get up, Shepard slowly slid out from underneath her petite quarian form and pulled on his trousers hastily discarded earlier that night. Shepard stood up and walked slowly out of the room, keeping one eye on the sleeping frame of his lover.

Shepard reluctantly stepped into the elevator and tapped the button for _Deck 3_, the mess hall. Although Mess Sergeant Gardner had been taken along with the rest of the crew by the collectors, there was still plenty of food in the _Normandy_'s massive refrigerator.

The elevator made a small "ding" sound as it arrived and Shepard stepped outside into the corridor. He fully expected most of his team to be getting some last-minute sleep before they 'threw themselves into the fire' as Mess Sergeant Gardner had put it, so he was surprised but delighted to see his favourite turian sidekick sitting in one of the chairs eating a dextro-DNA meal.

As Shepard walked into the Galley, he could feel Garrus' eagle-like eyes on the back of his head. As Shepard reached into the refrigerator and tried to decide on strawberry or peach flavoured yoghurt, Garrus finally said something.

"Hey, Shepard."

The tone of Garrus' voice made Shepard look over his shoulder. Even though turians expressed emotion using their mandibles, Shepard could tell that Garrus was grinning. At what though, he did not know.

"Hey, Garrus." Returned Shepard, as he decided on peach flavoured, shut the door and sat next to his friend and brother-in-arms.

"So…" started Garrus coyly. Shepard could tell Garrus wanted to say something amusing, as he hadn't stopped grinning.

"Shepard, you know how the engines of this ship run so silently?" continued the turian.

"Yeah?" replied Shepard, only half listening. He was more focused on pulling the lid off his dessert.

"And do you know how there's virtually no-one on this ship anymore since the Collectors took them…" the turian went on.

"What are you getting at, Garrus?" asked Shepard, slightly peeved by his friend's use of questions.

"Well, I just thought you should know that, with all this silence, any noise made on pretty much any floor can be heard if one listens closely enough." Explained Garrus, still - well, if you could call it that - grinning from ear-to-ear.

Shepard could sort of see how Garrus was going to conclude. Positive that he must be wrong, Shepard dismissed that claim. "I don't know what you're talking about." He said as he fed himself a mouthful of yoghurt.

Garrus sighed. "Do I have to make it anymore obvious? Myself and, possibly others, could hear you and whoever you were with earlier; although it may be due to my superior turian listening skills. Anyway, given the sound of the voices, I can pretty much guess who you were with."

Shepard spat out a mouthful of peach-flavoured dessert.

"Never had you pegged as having a quarian fetish, Commander…" joked Garrus; then Garrus seemed to be unable to contain himself and burst out laughing. In between laughing fits, Garrus could just be heard to say; "You and… [hahahaha] Tali… [hahahahahaha] were… [hahaha]".

Shepard was appalled at how quickly his and Tali's secret had fallen through. He feverishly attempted to get Garrus to shut up, fearing he'd wake up the entire ship.

Unbeknownst to both of them, a metallic, mechanical figure approached them from behind.

"Shepard-Commander," boomed the monotonous voice of the geth platform known as Legion. Garrus instantly stopped laughing and both he and Shepard swiveled around in their chairs.

"We were interrupted from standby mode by Vakarian-Gunnery-Chief's loud and numerous exhales of air. Does mister Vakarian require medical attention?" questioned the geth.

"No, no, Legion, I was just laughing." Assured Garrus, calming down; then, a thought seem to strike him. "Say, you didn't hear any noise coming from Shepard's quarters, did you Legion?" quizzed Garrus, grinning at Shepard, whose mouth was agape.

"This unit's audio receptors recorded approximately 0 hours, 34 minutes and 23 seconds of audio from Shepard-Commander's private cabin." Replied Legion, monotonously as ever. By now Shepard's jaw had almost dislocated.

"Legion, would you be so kind as to _play _said recording?" asked Garrus with sickening sweetness. Shepard turned to Garrus and showed him his middle finger. He then turned to the geth unit and ordered "Legion, this is your Commanding Officer. Do NOT play that recording, in fact, delete it."

Legion's lampshade-like head turned in 'Shepard-Commander''s direction. "Contradictory instructions received; overriding original instruction." A faint whirring could be heard from the unit, then a minute click. "Done. Recording deleted." Concluded the geth. Without so much as a 'goodbye', the geth infiltrator turned on its three-toed foot and headed back into the AI Core. Shepard turned to Garrus with a serious expression on his face.

"Aw, c'mon Shepard, I was only having a laugh." Said Garrus, sounding slightly hurt.

"Shall we see how funny it is when a certain engineer hears what you were about to do?" said Shepard craftily.

"Ah, no, you're right, that wasn't very funny, er, at all." Hastened Garrus. "Well, I'll er, see you later, I kind of need to do some calibrations." With that Garrus turned and jogged back up the steps and into the Main Battery. Shepard watched him go, and then turned back to his yoghurt. Suddenly he wasn't so hungry anymore…


	2. Chapter 2

Sure that Tali wouldn't have woken up yet, Shepard made it a point to go see Joker. He knew that it couldn't have been easy, watching the entire crew get taken by the Collectors like that.

Shepard carefully approached the helmsman's chair. The blue glow of the _Normandy_'s shields could be seen outside the bridge's window, shimmering. It was quite relaxing, actually.

Joker seemed to have heard Shepard approach, as his chair swiveled around to meet him. "Uh, hey Commander." Greeted Joker.

"I assume everything is going well up here?" Shepard felt a strange sense of déjà vù as he said this to Joker.

"You know this is actually really nice, EDI took up all of the slack in every department. I could get used to this kind of help." Joker explained.

"Don't get used to it. We're going to get the rest of the crew back." Reprimanded Shepard. "Besides, we still need the eyes of an actual pilot."

"Yeah, yeah, right, eyes. Don't worry, I've got eyes covered." Quipped the helmsman.

"I believe covering your eyes would be countering what Shepard asked, Jeff." Stated EDI coolly as she punched a hole through Joker's cover.

"Ugh, thanks for that." Joker said loudly to the computer. Then to Shepard, "God, she is _so _annoying!"

"I see you've started calling EDI 'she' now?" noted Shepard.

"I… uh- no, I hadn't noticed that actually. Uh, EDI honey, should I have noticed that? Joked Joker.

"Joker…" Shepard said, standing back on one foot and folding his arms like he did when making a point.

"Alright, alright, no need to get all 'UNNATURAL' on me. Besides, it's not like _I_ could date any of the REAL women on this ship." Said Joker, with a puppy-dog sad face. He then looked up, and continued. "I mean, we've got one 900-year-old asari warrior who would probably kill me, we've got that Cerberus chick who doesn't include the word 'modest' in her vocabulary, a thief, a crazy Cerberus-hating bitch down in the hold." Said Joker counting them off on his fingers. "Oh, and of course, our favourite quarian engineer. How is she, by the way? I was thinking of inviting her up to my cabin, and-" mocked the pilot, but stopped because of Shepard's withering look. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with m- well, I was gonna say 'me' but, well, you weren't exactly _silent_ now were you?" finished Joker rhetorically. Shepard felt the smile slide off his face. _Joker had heard them too? _

Satisfied with his little speech, Joker turned his chair away from Shepard with a curt nod. He promptly clicked a button on his PDA, and instantly the bridge was filled with the sound of an asari having 'fun' with two krogan. Almost as quickly as it had started, it stopped.

Joker went bright red, and looked back at Shepard like a child caught eating too many sweets. Clearly he was trying to determine whether Shepard had heard anything. "uh, sorry. That was supposed to go to my earpiece." Blushed the pilot.

Shepard blinked, then cleared his throat. "I'll let you… _work_." With that, he turned and walked back towards the CIC.

_Meanwhile…_

Jacob Taylor was in his usual spot in the Armoury, cleaning the weaponry that Shepard's team had collected in the past three weeks of Collector-fighting. It had been a fairly quiet evening, apart from one point where he could have sworn he heard the screams of someone getting murdered from the elevator shaft.

Jacob admired Shepard's favourite weapon, the scarlet _M-76 Revenant _Machine Gun. With the accuracy modification on it, not only did it do great damage up-close, but now at medium range as well. It was perhaps the strongest weapon in their arsenal, maybe on par with Legion's _M-98 Widow_ Sniper Rifle or Grunt's prized krogan shotgun.

Satisfied that he had cleaned the weapons enough, he set aside his own _Scimitar _Assault Shotgun, and _Predator _Heavy Pistol on the bench next to him in case he needed to find them easily again. He picked up Shepard's _Revenant _and slotted it back into place in the weapons rack. He then left the armoury, and headed towards the elevator. Jacob blinked as he remembered that he needed to give Shepard his report about how the new armour was holding up. He stepped into the elevator, and tapped the button marked DECK 1; he assumed that Shepard would be there, perhaps getting some shut-eye. But this was too important to wait.

The elevator made it's familiar, soft 'ding' as it reached it's destination. Jacob stepped out of the elevator, and walked the short distance to Shepard's cabin doors. He was surprised to find them unlocked. So, without hesitation, Jacob pressed the big green holographic button in the centre of the doors and they slid smoothly open; one piece slid up to the top-left, another to the top-right, and the third became hidden underneath the floor. These new, space-age doors had always impressed him. Jacob took a step into the semi-darkness that was Shepard's room. Jacob realized that he'd never been here before; he could just make out what seemed to be a double-bed at the far wall. It looked to be currently occupied, but by whom he could not see. However, he could tell by the position that the figure was not Commander Shepard.

Jacob spoke aloud to himself, referencing himself, "Like, sneaking into the captain's quarters… Heavy risk, but the priiize…" Jacob could tell that Shepard had, to put it one way, 'got some'. He leaned back against the door frame.

Just then he felt a heavy hand fall on his shoulder. A voice he knew only too well spoke out in the semi-darkness. "And just _what _do you think you are doing…?"


	3. Chapter 3

As Shepard approached the CIC's elevator doors, he checked his omni-tool for the time. They were getting closer to the _Omega 4_ Relay all the time. He pressed the button on the door to call the elevator, and was surprised when the arrow above him pointed downwards. Shaking this feeling off, Shepard waited until the elevator doors had opened. He then stepped confidently in, and pressed the button for DECK 1.

When the elevator arrived, however, he was VERY surprised to see that his cabin doors were open. He was even more surprised to see Operative Taylor standing in the doorway, saying something which sounded like "The priiize…" Shepard stole stealthily up behind Jacob, and put his hand on Jacob's shoulder. He felt Jacob tense up as he touched him. "And just _what _do you think you are doing…?" Shepard asked, put out by Jacob's apparent perversion.

Jacob turned slowly around to face Shepard. He seemed lost for words. "I- uh, I…"

"Well, well, Mister Taylor, I thought with you being Cerberus and all you only had eyes for _human _women?" Shepard asked, quite serious.

"Shepard! I… I swear, I didn't see _anything_. I don't even know who that is!" Jacob said as he tried to get out of it. He had completely forgotten why he had come up here in the first place.

"You and I are going to have a talk real soon." Said Shepard venomously. "If I hear anything whatsoever from anyone else about what you saw here…" he continued menacingly. "Now get out of here." He finished, half throwing Jacob into the elevator. Jacob nodded profusely and slapped one of the buttons. The doors slid shut and the elevator was away.

Shepard turned back, the anger almost gone from his face as he walked towards the bed. He noted that Tali, in her angelic form, was still sleeping; but wait! She seemed to be waking up. Her luminous eyes darted around the room, then rested on Shepard.

"S-Shepard?" she said groggily.

"Hello again, sweetie," said Shepard kindly. He looked over at the holographic clock on his desk, then did a double-take as he noticed the date. He looked back at Tali, and then grinned.

"Tali?"

"Mmmmmmn?"

"Happy Valentine's day."


End file.
